How I Told My Wife I Crossdress

Telling a girlfriend or wife that you Crossdress for most is a terrifying thought.  It can be frustrating to try to work up the nerve to tell, and you will likely feel lonely and perhaps even angry at times. You might feel like you have dropped hints that deserved recognition, or made lighthearted jokes that you hoped might be taken more seriously.  Don't blame your significant other for not picking up on your hints - this is too big a deal to drop small hints about and expect anything to come of it.  

There are two major ways I've heard it advised that one should 'come out' to their partner.  One is to just sit down and tell then everything right off the bat.  The other is to slowly introduce your partner to your habits.  For me it was the second.  For you it might be different.  One thing I will say is this:  If you don't want to be 'outed' don't tell the girl (or boy) you are with that you have been dating for a month your secrets.  That goes for any secret; not just this one.  

As I mentioned, I told my girlfriend slowly.  One night when we were having (really drunk) sex, I got up the nerve to put on a pair of her panties during our play time.  She was so drunk that night she probably forgot - or at least that's what I told myself.  To this day it hasn't been mentioned since.  Months and months later, I shaved my legs.  When she came home and asked why, I told her that I was curious what it would be like.  She didn't think twice about it - or at least that's what I told myself.  

Little things like this happened several more times, until finally one day I told her that I wanted to try dressing up like a woman completely, but that I needed her help.  She asked me if this was something I had always wanted, and I said no, that it had only been a recent curiosity.  Why?  Because it wasn't about telling her about the first time I tried on my cousins short shorts, it was about building a relationship where I could express my future desires - the ones that matter.  Again, it is about your future together, not your past.  She (or he) will be able to accept and accommodate your habit more easily if they feel like they had a part your 'becoming' a crossdresser.  She will also see that it was a happy, healthy relationship that fosters this behavior - and not assume it was past abuse, homosexuality, or some other stereotype dictated 'cause' or your habit.  

So, after I told my wife I wanted to try it out for real and I needed her help, it was off to the wig shop.  She picked out a wig for me and then we went to the department stores, where we got several outfits, cosmetics that I needed, everything. She was great about it.  It was hundreds of dollars and she never questioned it as too much money to spend on just goofy experiment.  Why?  She probably knew it was more than that.  

Since then, I have dressed up many many many more times and she is always great.  I have learned that sexual intimacy while I am dressed isn't something that she likes, so I respect that (as best I can).  

My wife is a very open minded person and we have a trusting relationship where we understand one another well.  If your wife is a close minded, ignorant, queer-hating nazi, and you aren't sure how she'll react - it won't be so easy and it probably won't go so well if you tell her you want to wear her panties.  Be smart about it.  If you need someone to talk to, get in touch with me!  

The most important thing to always remember is that you aren't alone.  There are millions of us!  If your wife doesn't share your interests yet, find someone who does.  I'm not suggesting you cheat on your wife. Don't do that.  Do find a 'sister' somewhat close to you that shares your interest and you can talk to.  

Expressing yourself somehow is the most important thing. In fact, this blog is a source of expression for me - where I share my thoughts and feelings with you, and it feels great.  I don't know what I would do without the Internet, which has really opened doors for us girls to express who we are without 'coming out.'  DO IT.  It feels great!  Start a blog, a YouTube channel, or whatever sounds fun :)   Just be careful not to out yourself accidentally by filming your YouTube videos in your living room! 

My Crossdressing Habits/Patterns

For me, and others I've spoken to as well, Crossdressing is sort of like a drug, and sort of like the ex girlfriend or ex boyfriend you still like that lives around the corner - that you still have a one night stand with once in a while.  After the relapse/one night stand, you stop with the fantasies and reality kicks in.  Dating this person all the time is way too much work considering the satisfaction that comes from it.  Every time I Crossdress, I have a similar realization.  I realize that shaving my body every day and spending hours on makeup and getting dressed doesn't really pay off the way I would like it to.  It seems like fun when you haven't done it in a while, because all you remember is the good stuff, like feeling sexy and relaxed.  We forget that we are often frustrated, depressed, or lonely when we are dressed up.  Still sounding like that relationship with you ex?  It is like that.  The drug metaphor holds too.  Some people are the type to get addicted to Crossdressing and later convert to full time crossdressers or become transgender individuals.  For me, I realized my life wouldn't allow that, and it isn't something I really want at this point anyway.  Also, while I do sometimes feel like fully transitioning to a woman, after a two or three day stint of Crossdressing, that feeling passes.  I am not saying that Crossdressing isn't something that I love all the time, it just isn't something I DO all the time.  And when I do it, it's usually only for a couple days at a time and then I stop; usually for a time period between 4 and 6 months (I am convinced this is me trying to be 'normal' and I am going to consciously make an effort to dress more often than that, just on principle - the only reason I don't dress more often is our culture and their reaction to it, and the only reason I fight with myself about it is the same). After that 4-6 month period, I begin to feel serious withdrawal and start to crave dressing.  I try and not do it by having female experiences other ways like going to a strip club, and that works to calm the urges temporarily.  Eventually the obsession completely takes over and dressing is all I can think about.  I have to do it, if for no other reason, to clear my mind and allow me to get something else done (my work suffers from these distractions when they get bad).  When I finally decide to give in and dress, my whole life gets put on hold for several days.  I dress and worry about nothing except that.  Maybe during day two I will work from home and get some things done while I'm dressed.  After two or three days, my desperate urges satisfied for the time being, I go back to my male self and put away the clothes.  Each time I finish dressing, the temporarily satisfied boy inside of tells me I could throw out all the clothes and wigs and makeup I've purchased.  I feel better.  I don't need this stuff anymore.  What if someone finds it?  I'm not a drag queen, I am just a little curious.  When I first tried dressing I would throw everything out each time I dressed.  After doing that enough and wasting hundreds and hundreds of dollars, I know better now.  My wife knows that I dress now, and although she doesn't like sexual activities while I'm dressed, she does hang out with me, help me pick out clothes, and allow me to keep whatever I want in the house. The story of how I told my wife will have to be for another post.  Let me say two things that may qualify as 'good advice' for the right person:  first, don't be ashamed, there is nothing wrong with you, and there are millions more good people with the same desires you have.  Second, if you have purchased cross clothing, don't throw it out!  If you like Crossdressing now, you will like it again, even if it seems like your curiosity was 'satisfied' its likely only temporary.  Hold on to your investment! 

Give a Guy a Makeover! He'll Love it!

Lol so true!  Every boy loves to put on a little makeup and some panties once in a while!